backburnt
letters
01.04.2026 | ehhhhoeheohoehhoeeeeee

Flow

Here i'll be writing random stuff that make no sense whatsoever. It will get weird.

World of Color:

Draw

I need to draw more so I have a chance at drawing the album cover. Still don't know what it will be, but I imagine it will require some drawing. Definitely not 240x135 though, I aim for 3000x3000.

Sharky

Drew Sharky because drawing is nice.

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Sharky
Stepping with a yoyo

Drew a thing today called "Stepping with a yoyo". I made it because I had a vision of stepping high in the mountains towards the unknown with my favorite yoyo. I like yoyos. It's pretty hard to detail characters when the pixel count is so limited.

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Stepping with a yoyo
ALienz!
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Courage

I had a nightmare this morning that kept me occupied throughout the day. It was close to reality, WAY too close, and everything about it is true. Of course the purpose of dreams such as these is to warn about something, except that the problem with this dream is that I already know the whats and whys of the message and that I can't really do anything wise about it. I want to turn it into some sort of a story in the form of a small book, since it's not the first time I'm getting the same kind of thinking. I've had an urge to write something for a long long time, but never found the courage to do so. I'm still in disarray thinking about my skills and how would I be able to accomplish such a task. Not only that, there's about a 1000000 other things to do. I don't feel like I can take it anymore, but I feel forced to do everything as well. Everytime I don't do something I feel terrible, as if I just wasted my time and disappointed everyone. It leads me to injury, it makes me want to stroke and hurt. But who else is going to write my thoughts? I wish I was able to just sit and write without stress, but that is not the case. That will never be the case, as the idea I have in mind is disturbing enough to cause stress all the time. I can only hope that my stupid fleshy spaghetti manipulatable fragile brain can be better. Even then comes the problem that nobody would actually read it, considering my marketing skills being like: put thing on website, job done 👌👍. At the same time, I don't have to deal with garbage surrounding all the licensing and publishing nonsense that would straight up ruin the work, I don't care about that. The idea not being able to reach the crowds would be pinnacle of irony. In a way it already happened. I don't really know what to do.

TO ME: Hey dumbo, think about it for a second: If you have a recurring nightmare that warns about something, and you can't do anything about it, aren't you living in the nightmare? Isn't the nightmare reality?

Crazy?

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

Peak honking

Honk! Honk! Honk!

Science

Bored? Then stop masturbating and go to https://journals.sagepub.com and find some proper S C I E N C E to read.

Always download the music you listen to!!!

So I was just about to add a "song to listen to" feature to the site when a slight problem occured. I tried to find one of the songs I like on the internet, so that you can just click on it and listen, but the song was completely wiped! I tried searching on YouTube and everywhere, but it's like completely gone! Idk why is it gone, but that's a shameee! Thankfully, I am smart enough to download every song I listen to, so I have probably one of the few copies available (sadly only MP3, not FLAC). The song I'm searching for is called Last Train To Moscow by Noizz Factor. It's a really nice synthwave song, I like it! It has that wavy winter sparkle feel to it. There are other cool songs on the same album. I do have the "extended cut" version downloaded, but I remember there being multiple others which I don't have sadly. I wonder why the song's gone and how many others in my collection are gone as well. So the lesson is clear: ALWAYS download the songs you like, or else they might just be gone forever!

Big brain

-> removes games page.
-> writes game review immediately after.

it wants to brew some potions!

I imagine getting myself a cauldron and just fukin making my own laboratory and trying all possible combinations of absolutely everything and then drinking it. I mean, why the fuk not? That would be so much fun! You never know what the end result will taste like if you haven't tried it before, and what effects it'll have. Maybe I'll discover some potion of absolute relativity, that would be sooooo cooooooolllllll!!!! Like imagine the amount of fun if you brew yourself a potion of fun! Waooowww!!!!! Or an elixir of invincibility! Oh wait, I don't want that, that should be destroyed immediately! I could use some potions that would make me more powerful, so that I could curse all sinners for their determination to the Necronomicon! Oh silly me, that would also partially include myself. I'm so dumb! UGhhhh... gotta dispell myself. Idk, the possibilities are endless!

A little progroes

Decided to try and make my main song of the album a little better, the ending was a bit barren. Silly me, trying to achieve perfection on something that is already mostly perfected. I had trouble making it even more perfect and wanted to give up after some hours of trying, but in the end I got lucky. So now I don't hear anything that needs to be improved at all in the song, which is cool. Now only the lyrics and the singing and the rest of the album, maybe even the video (probs not loEl). It's also interesting on how I managed to make myself do something about it, since I was just stalling it for so long. It turns out that drawing something beforehand enables music mode for some reason as well. What a stupid silly brain, I want to scoop it out and make spaghetti with it.

I also changed the ChillPlease.png background to something that makes me chill and not mad. It made me mad and not chill because it looked like a target lofl that was unintentional. Besides, the new one looks much better.

it tries draws

Drew a thing I call "Chill, please", since it looks kinda intimidating.

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Chill, please
John 2:13-22 NKJV

Jesus Cleanses the Temple

Now the Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. And He found in the temple those who sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the money changers doing business. When He had made a whip of cords, He drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen, and poured out the changers’ money and overturned the tables. And He said to those who sold doves, “Take these things away! Do not make My Father’s house a house of merchandise!” Then His disciples remembered that it was written, “Zeal for Your house has eaten Me up.”

So the Jews answered and said to Him, “What sign do You show to us, since You do these things?”

Jesus answered and said to them, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.”

Then the Jews said, “It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and will You raise it up in three days?”

But He was speaking of the temple of His body. Therefore, when He had risen from the dead, His disciples remembered that He had said this to them; and they believed the Scripture and the word which Jesus had said.

Header text dilema

No clue what to put there really, was not satisfied with the change I made so I reverted it. If I remove it entirely, it just feels empty tho. It was supposed be some sort of a quote, or an attraction, but now with the new index it lost that purpose. So what to put there hmmmmmmmmmmm... Perhaps a black void of nothingness? Or just keep it whateva.

nom nom

NOM NOM

the crystal ball says: NOM NOM

NOM NOM

I'm not on drugs.

NOM NOM

nom nom

NOM NOM

NOM NOM

New index

Okay, so the new index was surprisingly easy to do and the result is pretty nice. Responsive, even. I could add a few more things to it, but I think it's better if I just keep it simple. The only problem I see with it is the lag, but whatever, just use a lower resolution lmaoe. The hardest part was making it look nice with CSS styling, but after some experimenting, it just worked. I decided to not delete the old index and instead use it as a home page. Also in preparation for my upcoming recording session, I made that new compattelrunner article. I remember that fucking virus just randomly opening and starting chaos while I was recording my song, which made my laptops fans make more noise than I permitted. And since I don't have a proper studio, that straight up ruined my recording attempt. Always remember to close everything and disconnect from the internet when recording, or else it will get really annoying.

I still need to finish those damn lyrics tho. They are so annoying, I never know if I hit something, or just waste an hour repeating the same segment of a song over and over again.

I also need to write some normal articles, not just linus tech tips stuff omggggggggggg whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy can't they just make one fucking OS work normally without wanting to fuck me and get me to use their bullshit AI and other services. I can't wait to have to reinstall again sometimes after my laptop explodes and have to redo aaaaaaaalllllllllllll the stuff I'm currently used to. Imagine the world if they just like asked: "What do you want as your default text editor?" or "Choose your file manager please", and "What styling do you want?" but noooooooooooooo go fuck yourself it's UWPNOTEPADWITHAI and EXPLORER.EXEWITHAI(SOONMOSTLIKELY) and PAINTWITHAI(WHY?) and WEBVIEWROUNDEDCORNERS(FUCKYOU).

Never ending changes

I'm still not satisfied with my website, especially the index page. I like it somehow, it's not that bad, but it could still be better. I have an idea, but the execution will be pretty hard to do. It will require scripting an animation for a HTML canvas, which I've not done before, because I never thought that I will need it. It always seemed like a complete waste of time, that is until now. The animation won't be like super super cool, more like basic pretty it fits with the rest of the idea kind of cool. I also need to draw some v*ctor assets for the site to accompany the animation. The idea looks really cool in my mind, so that is what I'll be focusing on for now. I wish I could port the engine I have unfinished for the pixel animations to the web, it would help me animate the things, but I don't think that it is possible to compile it from C++ to the web. I see some stuff about WASM, but that seems like way too much of a hassle to get working. Whatever, the engine sucks, and I can just use CSS transforms anyway. I think I will not focus on mobile friendliness on this one, as that would be very complicated. so if someone opens it on mobile, they'll just get redirected to the old one.

Also, I don't see myself using the games page anytime soon, so I'll probably delete it. Maybe when I get into some review mood, I'll just add it to the articles page. I still have to do the laboratory & alchemy page, who knows when that will be done.

Living in a limbo

I'm living in a limbo someone heeeeeeeeelppp meeeee ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

I want to get outtttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to burn down the houseeeeeeeeeeeee

three hun dred six ty five de grees - burnin down the house!

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Don worry 'bout it bro
https://www.eesc.europa.eu/en/news-media/press-releases/eesc-highlights-urgent-need-protect-emotional-health-europes-young-people

Nah don't worry about it bro, everything is all fine! Just don't mind the corpses. I'm sure a couple of iPads providing "education" and "entertainment" will fix all the issues.

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Maybe in the year 2099 there won't be a need for a sanity bar. Have fun until then, kids!

[REMOVED]

I removed the redacted post because it genuinely drove me insane for some reason. It reaaaaally grinded my gears, I couldn't handle it anymore and called for its execution by the backspace squad. Goodbye, you will not be missed.

Colorfulll

Our senses were blessed with colors, so why restrict yourself to black and white? That's boooooriiiing. So I made the website more colorful, well atleast on the flow page. I don't want to fully break the theme, atleast not yet. Oh well.

On artifacts

The best artifacts are the ones you create yourself, no doubt about it. You cannot extract all potential from an artifact that you haven't made, since you don't have the necessary knowledge about its creation and form. With your artifacts, you have the most power, because you were its creator. You shaped its form, and you know it inside out. That is the most power you can have. Unless the artifact is made to change its own form, it's power always resonates with you and nobody else as long as you don't somehow spoil it or destroy it. It is necessary to create artifacts, as without them there is no chance of any power. They don't have to have a physical shape, as long as you are convinced of their existence, it counts. The effects of artifacts are impossible to predict, but they are often most rewarding even without any conscious acknowledgement of them.

Best trauma art style

I think the occult is probably the best trauma art style out there. What other lets you curse your enemies to death, bless your friends to death, and do all kinds of esoteric metaphysical stuff, also to death. The more I look into this stuff, the more I see people doing this because of some previous nasty traumatic experience. I think it also gets attractive when traditional religions fail to address something or get way out of touch with what is happening in the world, so you try looking elsewhere. And what is most attractive that doesn't involve strange loving nature people in the middle of nowhere?

I thought of a less than funny ritual that I would try to perform when things go wrong again, but hopefully they won't, since I really don't want to do it. For obvious reasons, I won't disclose the ritual procedure. Even for me it's way too ... uhhhhh ... "artistic?"

Hardest decision in lyrics

Do I put AWOOOOOOOOO at the end or not?

Like I really want to, but at the same time it is kinda out of place. Well, not totally out of place, but just a little bit out of place. But it kinda fits. But then it doesn't. IDKKKK... Not to mention the monster (haha, get it: monster? Like WEREWOLF) amount of cringe this would be to record. YO STOP FUKIN BANGING ON THE DOOR I NEED TO AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LIKE A WOLF AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. EHM. Just thinking how I would do this noise makes me faint. If I decide to do it, I need to time my recording for midnight when there is full moon, so that my AWOOOOOO has full effect and attracts ... something? Question mark? Hey mark, I have a question? Yes question mark, what is it? Woof. Bark. Meow. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Yes/No

I use yes/no as a quick and stealth way of telling someone to go away, and it works wonders! It's very easy to use, very human. Just wait for their question and respond yes/no depending on what answer they want. It doesn't matter what the result is or what it affects, what matters is that the quicker the response, the faster they leave! Don't even think about striking a conversation, they're probably gonna melt under the tough realization that you didn't answer exactly like they wanted you to answer, which means more time spent with them, and that's baaad, especially when they DEMAND the yes/no. Like, why even try saying anything when everything has already been decided the moment you were suddenly acknowledged into existence for the brief moment. Don't want to answer yes/no? Don't answer at all! This way you will reveal their true composure, which is probably not going to be a fun experience. But who cares when staring at a wall is free.

Is any of the above a good tip?

No.

You may close this tab now.

Windowsssssss

Spent some time trying to make the window system better. It's going somewhere, but still far away from "stable". I made a test page, so you can check the progress. I must warn that the page has a habit of crashing my entire browser both on latest Firefox and on latest Chromium, so you might want to avoid it if you have a lot of tabs open. The goal of this is to make an easily deployable window system for all websites with support for funky stuff like a "taskbar" that otherwise require advanced scripting capabilities. It will be in the public domain, so you can just take it and do whatever. I hope to manage all the boring stuff, so that you can just define some containers and make some windows, the script should then be able to handle it all. There are still bugs, especially on moving and resizing windows in non-fixed containers. I don't know how to fix it yet, but I'll experiment.

Cover me again

Decided to redo the cover for the upcoming song. This time I'll use twice as many pixels then before, since 135x135 was not enough for the cover in the first attempt. Not that it really matters, in the end it's a very simple cover art made with pixels. It will have a similar idea as my previous attempt, but I'll make this one more "synthetic" and less "flashy". It was not bad, but I feel it lacked a certain art style, a certain theme to it. I'll post how the previous one looks like after I release the song itself.

Words

I wish I had a portable mind to text device that would record my thoughts as I am walking around and thinking about stuff without me having to say or interact with anything. Obviously, I want to have absolute full control of the device. I would need to overseer its specifications and the entire procedure of its production, otherwise I risk becoming a slave to someones control. This device would help me create articles I want to write without me having to reimagine what was thought during the initial thought process. Too bad it doesn't exist. Maybe I should try some alchemy and see if I can come up with something, but I doubt it.

Damn, do I wish I had something like this many many years ago, when I couldn't even write a simple sentence, or utter a simple word. Well, atleast this yapping helps somewhat, otherwise I would probably be back where I started. Having to write something is part of the reason why I made this website. I want to expand on it. Words are enlightening in their own way, it is sad to see that they are being neglected. I shouldn't have let that happen back then, but fear got me, and now I'll live forever in regret. What a mistake, a terrible mistake, as are the repercussions that are now apparent and destructive. I can only speculate as to what would happen if I said "yes" to a certain question regarding a "good" picture I painted in some drawing program back then, it could have completely changed my course, and I believe it would be for the better. Dumb me defaulted to "nah", thinking I was smart, but in reality I was stupid, so stupid. I was fully blinded by the stupid fucking necronomicon, believing I could read it, but no, it read me. It attacked and succeeded. Only now I can comprehend some parts of it, but there is still so much more. It's exhausting, but I cannot give up, for I believe I have found the reason why is this happening. The problem is that I don't know the solution, atleast not now. The current "solution" depends on people, which invalidates it, since that is just not possible to work with. It depends on an unstable variable that is prone to change. I will continue thinking, maybe I'll come up with something. Or not, and it is perhaps doomed. Meanwhile, the attack continues everywhere, leaving me very sad for I know what it will cause.

Overwatch

Tried to draw a pixel background for a first time. It's not that very detailed but it ain't the worst thing ever for a first attempt. I call it "Overwatch", or "Waterfall".

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Overwatch, Waterfall
Skill issue

Having a problem with one of my songs where the ending is really cool, but the start is absolutely uninspired and bad. So idk what to do at this point. I've had this happen once before and ended up scrapping the entire song (rip 56). No matter how hard I tried to make it fit, it just didn't work and kept being chaotic. The project file then became a mess to work with, it had patterns all over the place. I tried using more and more instruments, hoping I would hit something that would be cool, but nope, it only made the project laggy. I hope this doesn't happen with this one tho, it has an idea that only happens once in the entire album so far, so I would like to execute it if possible. I could try and go on a rampage and delete a bunch of stuff in the scrapped song hoping it would somehow improve it, but whether it's a waste of time or not is a 50/50.

Lmao

Ffs ppl. When you're conducting a ritual and a guy looking like a stereotypical funky rastaman says u need to smoke something or drink a funny juice for the ritual to happen, it's obviously a complete scam. Not only is the way via drugs a complete spiritual forced placebo and won't work, it's also a great way to quite literally get fucked. They get you exactly where they want you, that is on their altar. At that point you're not a predator, you're the prey. Unless you're into that sort of stuff and don't mind getting fucked over to the afterlife, I recommend a less drug infused way of contacting desired spirits, that is to practice the summoning whilst in your unweakened and sane state of mind. The only usage of drugs is to test the worthiness of somebody you want to coop with. If they take them, they fail the test and prove themselves unworthy and will spoil the entire thing, so don't do that.

This one

This one is also kinda funny.

https://theonion.com/i-am-the-god-of-your-children-i-am-the-final-parent/
Continuation

It also kind of negates external influence and makes it easier to resist any negative temptation that is trying to get forced into you, since you become an observant instead of a participant. Ask yourself why is everything so negative, why am I supposed to act like that as well. Who is making me act wrong? Who is trying to kill me? Why is it shifted to be like this anyway?

Power of creating your own culture

Is the fact that you can define what is normal to you and if somebody talks rot, you can just ignore them. You can shapeshift the world as you please this way, since you are in control of your own perception of things. Just don't set the expectations too high, for you are still limited by your physical form. Well, thankfully only temporarily.

Colors

So cool that there are so many colors that are all similar but different depending on who you ask. Like, one will say that this color is orange, the other will say it's gold or yellow or purple or liquid or lava. Like damn, colors are so cool and colorful. I wish I could hold a color in my hand, pet it, then eat it. Yummy! I wonder how cyan tastes like.

Funny

Isn't it quite funny how language prevents the dog who understands it from barking? And when there is a lack of it, it compels it to bark, as if it was very very angry. It is interesting to watch as I listen with my mouth shut whilst someone is trying to "communicate" via screaming and ordering ignorantly like I'm a broken if-condition. I have learned to avoid that and look at a wall instead, atleast it doesn't have a mouth and lets me exist and think mostly in peace. It is fascinating as a demonstration that language is the basis of culture, since when it starts being used improperly, suddenly the person "talking" turns into a dog. Or a kitty, depending on how you want to look at it. Bark! Bark! Meow! Meow! Shut up foul ignorant creature! Why don't you just go away? Go hump a microphone whilst listening to its feedback with max volume headphones, dummy.

Bruh

Drew a thing today that I thought looked a little bit retarded, so I named it "Bruh".

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Bruh
Untitled

The path sets a goal. The path exists as a result of willpower. The path exists because an individual has chosen for it to exist. Its destination is crystal clear, but not straight forward. It is limited by form. It is to be doubted constantly and rejected, as is natural to do so. It is to be respected to follow the path without compromise, assuming the path doesn't lead to destruction. Only by perseverance can one then rise above the mountains and overlook what was created with pride. Breaking a path of other is the worst sin and results in the corruption and inevitable destruction of its own path. The judgement of the result of an uncorrupted path by other is irrelevant. The rest of being is irrelevant.

How is this possible

As I'm sitting here stationary and reading some of these interesting texts, I feel a burning kind of sensation on my right arm. I take a look and see a little bit of blood. Strange, how is this even possible? I didn't move an inch from where I sit, yet it looks like I've bruised myself somehow. Now, I could say this is just an accident, but if that's the case, why did it happen just now and never before? What a curious timing, of course it happened as I was reading about the various sigils, practices, models, experiences, and the Necronomicon! Hmmm. Science would explain this very plainly in a very boring and uninteresting way.
But S C I E N C E says that this is a sign! What sign? I don't know, but it's obviously a sign! I need to find out what sign tho...

Matrix

Had an urge to watch something, but I'm also too lazy to watch it because reasons, so I decided to read the film instead. Here is the 1996 screenplay draft for the Matrix. There is also a lot of other cool Matrix related stuff on that website too.

Fascinating

This occult literature that I'm finding just now is kinda dope. For some reason, the esoteric kind of thinking in these texts is somewhat similar to mine. There are tons of text all over the place that I need to read through, and some are surprisingly sane. Wow, what a surprise, sane literature in an occult setting. What defines "sane" anyway? One of the purposes of these texts is to make doubt of all things, so I guess that's a start. I'll probably make an article about my findings after I sort through and find the most spicy texts. Heck, there are even texts talking about an early version of the modern necronomicon, which is really sweet! I'll try to formulate the article as a sort of "study" on the occult, because why not. Perhaps this way will convince a brute to doubt. One might say that this is crazy, the other that this is normal - Both are correct, since the definition of "normal" doesn't exist and is actively being manipulated and reformed by the current structure of society.

Mad JS Science

I started redoing the entire filtering system yesterday and oh boy, was it harder than I thought. The original was a mess, it was not stable at all. This one is also a mess, but technically it should be easier to work with. technically. It's not the most beautiful code ever, but it makes more structural sense than my previous attempt. There is still a few things to do, but they are not that important to the basic functionality of this script. I made the script easily adaptable and completely free, so you can snatch it and use it for your own website. Additionally, I started implementing my own window system to this site. For now it's only used as a popup for that JS button on top right corner of the filter (it doesn't show the window on mobile, only alert), but I could find some other uses sometimes. When finished, it should be also easily adaptable, but there is a lot of bugs and quirks in the code that should be fixed first. Phew, I think I'll take a break from this boring type of science, it's not that fun, but atleast the output is worth it.

In the mean time, I've been looking at some interesting occult websites. You know, the type of science that is more like S C I E N C E, than the boring science. I'll report back later.

Yehh bo

nothin better than getting some of that cheapest instant noodl in my tummy at fuking midnight

peak dominanc

LSD

I have the psychological power to create LSD in my mind and get high from it. That is possible because the entire concept of reality is a lie, therefore I can just change it like that. There is nothing preventing me from making myself psychologically believe that I took some highly powered drugs sexualizing my mind and evaporating the soul into sand and beyond comprehension mixing thhem outside the ice and melting them into FIRE! Yes, that must be it. Nothing else. Not the thing I have here mixed up looking at me like it's really the cutest little bamboo coconut having the best party of its life levitating on the horizon and celebrating that seven cats are more than six dogs. Unlike cats, dogs are not cats. That is factual. The dog barks because it is very upset of the cats presence. The cutest cat is the presence of the God. The dog is then transformed into an Australian. Becoming the fuel of the ignited war between the dog and the cat, I have become the pharaoh. I am the pharaoh. The caesar salad as well. Have you ever looked outside and saw the outside right in front of you??? What the fuck is up with that lol. Like who the fuck looks outside and sees the outside outside when they are inside. How can you see the outside from inside lol. what lol. lOL LOL. Like, how is that even possible. The dogs and cats are inside and they are outside but like why are they looking from inside to outside and bark at other dogs and cats and people like they can't even see the dog and cat barking while the guy outside is parking and going and like away man. Man what the fuck is this brah. Where are the dinos going man, like they went for a walk and never came back from the store man. Man I miss those dinos brah. like really what happend to them why ddd they go awaay: DId they get depressed? NOW THERE GONE FOREVER! unless a mad science will bring them back? that would be kinda kool. $$$ $$$ $$$$ soso $$$ soso $$$ soso $$$ soso $$$ Aewwww man the thing in front of me produces fuckin light that I can process with me braing. damn. the light speaks and penetrates the barrier of the eyes and gets directly into the processing unit of the brain. Wowww!!! This makes me want to do some testing. Like some real testing. Like actual laboratory brain testing. How does this light influence the cognitive functions of the brain. Hmmmm. I will open a laboratory on this website and make some experiments. It will be fun. Red Green Blue are the best colors really. It's somehow like they are the base of many other colors. what purpose does the color have? It is an information. An Information of utmost high importance, since without it I would not know what is Red Green And Bludee. But what is Red And Blue AND Leagg anybway? Liike what is a color? im ciofunction. Do cars dream of electric toastesr?

e

Another one done, ? more to go

So the "fish song" is finished (fishined? fishished? finisfished? fished? fishish? fishinished? fishind?). This one is short, but not every song has to be 4 long agonizing minutes anyway, I feel like I've stalled them enough already. I kept this one simple, only 6+1 instruments (1 cloned), which is the least of them all I think. The initial vibe was fishy (HAAAA), but as time progressed, the aquarium exploded, so there is no fish anymore. I've renamed it to something more appropriate. It will accompany the album nicely, even though it's kinda out of place a little bit. But who the fuk cares anyway? At the end of the day, I will be the sole soul to hear it. Nobody else will hear the album, only the AI will scrape it for some arab money dumbass that will make a pop song that will become a hit and fuck with everyone who even tries to make something nice today. Who needs water anyway?

Note: I really finished it. Like really really finished it. Like I won't change anything, right? Like no expanding it right? Right? RIGHT?

URRRRRRRRHHHHHHH IT JUST ENDS SO ABRUPTLY, IT JUST FEELS LIKE IT W A N T S TO BE LONGER LIKE CMON WHY END SO EARLY RIGHT?

NOEP

Please don't give teenagers level editors.

CBT Hooks
CBT Applications

;)

Cookie

Here, take a cookie. I promise by the time you're done eating it, you'll feel right as rain.

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Finally some lyrics

I finally managed to write some lyrics that make actual sense and rhyme correctly. I said that I would record last saturday, but that's just not possible with my time management of doing a bit of absolutely everything at once. Just trying the lyrics out hurts my throat and makes me go all woozy already tho, that might be a little problem. And I'm not even finished with the current section, it's all sung so fast without any breaks in between that Eminem would be proud (not). But if I prevail, the reward is a really good song. Just try not to die. I just wish there were more than 1 amateur singers on scene, to create that resonance dynamic the song would benefit from... oh well... :'/

If I predict correctly, these might be the longest lyrics I'll write so far. It just doesn't have space to stop at all. I need to find a break point somewhere atleast...

I kinda wonder if "war is a suckers kink" is a proper lyric tho, but it fits so who cares!

Fish song

Ok the fish song is kind of a banger, which is annoying since there is now one more thing to do. It's a bit ehh ...abstract and special, but it works!

Actually true onion
https://theonion.com/anyone-else-have-those-weird-dreams-where-sobbing-future-generations-beg-you-to-change-course/
Sporadic progress

In the last few days I've been running jumping hopping dropping falling standing balloon popping all over the place in terms of progress towards anything. I seem to be unable to focus at one thing at a time, which makes everything so started-but-not-finished, which suffocates any progress. This is exponential, the more things I start, the more things i leave unfinished before starting another, and this repeats. Maybe I just have to stop doing anything. Just chill for a moment. Think about all the beautiful fish in the sea. Or think about the absolute horror inducing man walking on land with some wanting to spread the fear and "peace-keeping" beyond the heavens. Or think about nothing at all. That's probably the best option.

Fish6

people ask why

i say fish

because fish reign supreme above the heavens and the earth

fish rise up and dominate our lands as god intended

Fish5

dude am making a fish song i dont care.

Fish4

Damn these fish are coolyep.

Fish3

heay y

Bony-eared assfish
Fish2

Bru there so many fish. insanee.

Fish

Yo look at this fish for 5 minutes.

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Nothing

I feel nothing. NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING.

I remember the days i felt something. SOMETHING. SOMETHING. SOMETHING.

Do I want to remember anything? ANYTHING? ANYTHING? ANYTHING?

idk i go to sleep

Videoing

Managed to record some footage for the album just now, even though I'm not really sure if I'm actually gonna make a music video or not, since I don't have the power to do it. I tested editing the footage on my PC and it ran at a snail pace. It took ages and the entire editor freezing and showing the "not responding" prompt, but eventually it does something. It is the most ultimate test of patience, since doing 1 thing requires waiting for a million years. It's just too underpowered to do editing properly, which doesn't really make me interested in it. It's just painful. And that's not the only problem I have. The footage itself is not pretty either. It's recorded with a phone, so the camera is tuned to work nicely in scenery conditions, but if I want to do something more precise, or something in the dark, it fails. The footage quality is pretty bad, despite it being at 4K 30FPS. I regret recording at 4K, since that is probably the reason why my PC suffers so much. Also every shot is shot static, there is just me. Noone is holding the camera. So I have to position myself and pray that I'm actually in the shot, or else I just wasted time and space. Another cool thing is the "dying" disk. The video files are too large to be stored on the phone, 2 minutes is about 1 GB. So I need to put them on disk. But what if the disk fails? I'm going to lose everything that was recorded. I seriously hope it's not actually dying, just making funny noises because it's pranking me. If the disk dies, then the chances of retrying get veeeeeeeery low. I also need to backup my other files somewhere else too.

harem

I want to get out of Bill Gates' sex dungeon.

Out of shape

I need to practice separating mind and body, otherwise I'm too distracted to do anything. Very annoying, and I also noticed that I'm getting fat x(, I should stop eating for a while, the food makes me distracted anyway.

Untitled

I sit here listening to one of my most beautiful songs from the album whilst pretending to sing and dance along with it. It is so relaxing, yet it provokes the most fear out of me. It is reminiscent of a most blossoming flower, yet at the same time it reeks of uncertain poisonous qualities. The strings are tuned with a charm of both hope and imminent death.

Osama Bin Ladens solution

So I previously mentioned that my website is barely holding itself up with glue, hopes and dreams, right? Well I made it even better. Being the good terrorist I am, I decided to improve on the generator and fix the problem. I would not have bothered if I didn't need it fixed, but today while working on the tag filter, I encountered the same problem with the same solution. I needed to insert those amazing conditions to the end of the file again. So I pondered and wondered, what is causing all these issues? Is it my code? Is it my logic? Is it- STFU idiot, you already know the solution, don't you!?? All you need to do is add the damn text to the end and be done with it! So that is precisely what I did. I added that text and was done with it... and I added it for every single template and page, directly in the generator, so I don't have to do it manually. Because why fix bad code, when you can use elegant and good bombastic solution? Surely nothing will go wrong in the long run.

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Microsoft should hire me to develop Windows 12. Looking at the current state and quality of the operating system, I might as well become the CEO and overlook good code quality.

The above statement might be unironically true considering Microsofts current inability to do anything right.

Covering up

The cover for the next thingie is getting ready. It's very simple, but I don't think it really matters that much. It's 18 225 pixels at most, so not much detailing allowed anyway. I don't even want to detail that much, it loses focus, simplicity, and purity of simple pixel art. I found that if you use less gradients and effects and fancy stuff that shade things, the better it comes out. It's not like editing high resolution images, low res pixels work differently than that, so I have to rewire myself to that thinking. No more linear, radial, other gradients that look smooth, because that just doesn't work, they must be more edgy and rough then smooth. Despite the simplicity, I haven't restricted the palette, in fact I use the whole rainbow because I can. If I restricted myself to a palette, no rainbow for me. So boring. The lyrics are coming.. slowly but surely. I hope to cook something for saturday, since that might be a recording opportunity window, but I don't know if I can come up with something in such little time. I have the chorus done, but nothing more. And there is a lot of sections left. And it gets really annoying to repeat the song again and again to write something down. And it gets really tiring and annoying again and eeeee.

Don't drink the water

They put something in it, to make you forget. I don't even know how I got here.

WOAH

YO have you ever looked at numbers and said to yourself: WOW these things really add up, like they actually ACTUALLY ADD UP LIKE ACTUALLY ACTUALLY ADD UP AND THEY SUBTRACTC TOO LIKE HOLY SHIIIIIIT. ONE 1 TWOW 2 3 THEE 4 FOUR 5 FIVE 6 SIX 7 SEVEN 8 OEIGHT NINE 9 DAMN IM SO HOT RIGHT NOW THE MANTIMANTIOCION THANK THE ROMAN NUMERALS FOR EXISTANCE OF NUMERALS AND MATHEMATICIANS FOR EXISTANCE OF ADD ING AND SUBTRAcTING AND MULTIPLIEING AND DIVIDG BEST THING IS TO MULTIPLY A FAST PACED SONG AND LISTEN TO IT ON REPEAT LIKE IM DOING RHIGHT NOW ITS SO EXCITING SO GOOD IT GOE S LIKE

P P P PP PP P P P PP P P PP P P P P PP P P P P P PP P P P P P P P P P P PPP P P P PP P P P P P P P PP P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P

DD D DDDD DD DP DPD PD PD DD PD PPD P DPD P DPD PD PD DP DP DPD PD DPDDP D P DD P DD PDP D PD PD DP P P PD D P DPD PD PD PDP PD PD PD PD PD PD DPDP DP D PD PD PPD PD PD DPD PPD PD P DPD DPpd D P DPd pD PD pD PD PD PD PD LPOP FOKSPF KOSD FKOPDS KOPDSPO DP DPPD PD PDPD DPD PDP D Pd pd pD pD DP D pdDP D pD pD pD

alnetin

i want to go to antarcitca and setup my alien finding base and find all eliens and prepare messages of destruction towards them. I will exterminal the space invaders using space laser beam. it will be wery nice and painless, very good fast cooked chicken wings. it will be asewonme to look at night sky all the time and be alone forever but not really alone forever b eacuse there is alien behined me all the time looking ath me like jeffrey aepstine looks at litl girls and the y trie to probe me HELp it will be like xfiles

Reality is fake

Just ignore it. What's the issue here? You don't feel like waking up and doing anything, then don't wake up and don't do anything. What's the problem? I say to myself that I won't do anything today. Not even get up. Not even breathe. Not even exist. And bam! I didn't get up. I didn't breathe. I didn't exist. The text you are "reading" right now does not exist as well. There is no text, and all of it is in your head. Your head that does not exist. You're only "reading" this because you decided to accept the concept reading today. So you should maybe stop doing that. You don't have a head to comprehend the concepts of reading anyway. So what's your problem? Just stop accepting reality and just don't exist. Refuse reality because reality is boring and bad and mean and terrible in all aspects. Reality corrupts your soul, writes delusions and fear and wants to enslave you. Because reality is fake. And you are fake. And I am fake. Even the concept of "You", or "Me", or "Him", or "Her", or "insert your you here" is fake. Even the concept of a "sentence structure" fake is. bid os ng ut auz g8jh-- tj epwg js + gor keo wi gjr . ., fhur iw ,h- is , dir ,h sir, hjqk, bnc., hjr, ,hjjj>hr , jgosue, b%kvis, jkofhkz, nv0zsejrt, ,bjiu5trjh. 08I hope you understand what i've just told you, because it's the most important sentence ever uttered, it will save us from World War 8, and prevent the alien invasion from conquering Earth. Tomorrow, try walking backwards upside down.

oblivon

feel like installing oblivion to boost my social skills in the sky so high in the sky ✧・゚:*( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ )*:・゚✧ ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)=o==[]::::::::::> (¬_¬”)

1

2

Lyrics? wHATS that

i haven't lyricked in ages now, I barely remember how to write a sentence that rhymes somewhat. My instrumental is mostly finished in structure, so it's LYRICSS time! The problem with this one is that it's probably the most fast paced one i've done so far. And from experience with "singing", aka doing weird noises into microphone like monki but with a bit more structure and purpose than monki, this one will be HARD. Like so hard I consider getting an inhaler to not faint kind of hard. I've struggled with my breath in previous songs, and they weren't that intense, but this one might make me go all woozy. Like completely nauseous. I think I need to start doing some breathing excersises before attempting to sing, or else the recording might get its own beat drop (me falling unconscious onto floor). I also have to find a time window so I can record without disruptions. But before all that, lyrics. I need to write some lyrics. I need a story of some sort, or something. Hmmmmmmm...

Need new pccccc

My current laptop is starting to explode. Ports are starting to fail, and my external drives are gasping for power as they emit squeaking noises of pain. I'm scared to plug them in to not damage the disks somehow, but I need them for backup. I'm pretty sure it's the ports causing the noises, surely it's not disk failure, right? Please? Mouse and keyboard sometimes disconnect when their cable is moved ever so slightly. The entire front screen panel is gone, so I can see the bare electronics. The integrated keyboard is starting to fail too, the page up key wants to get up and leave, and some keys are not very responsive. Also my laptop has a faulty BIOS or CPU or something. Idk why, but sometimes when i'm typing, the entire computer freezes for a second. Even the audio freezes, it's exactly like changing video settings in an old source engine game, it keeps repeating the sound. And when it's done and the pc unfreezes, the keyboard input is completely random. Sometimes I get chinese characters, or even UTF-8 special characters, or even some function keys, like the windows key. One second I'm typing, the other I'm opening some random file I accidentally searched for. Or it inputs some random combination of keys that delete text or grief my code. It kinda reminds me of the PSPad program, which had a similar bug. It's really bad especially with arrow keys, since they repeat when I'm trying to move in text, which means more potential for the lag to occur. So cool! I could definitely use an upgrade, especially if I want to finish the album without wanting to rip my head open. The CPU is good enough for simple songs, but anything more than that and it gets noisy and laggy and terrible to work with. I'm trying to optimize and use the least amount of synths to keep it cooled down, but sometimes it's just not possible and have to use a lot of them. The lag then makes the entire experience so hard to swallow, and makes me want to quit. Eventually, I have to start rendering the songs if I only want to preview small parts of them. Every change then takes minutes to preview, which is awesome! I love trying to add details to songs like this! This means that until I get some pc with a real beefy CPU, I have to restrain the details and only focus on some parts. This suckssss. I want to have unlimited power!! So don't be surprised to hear some"focused" parts of my songs, and some"unfocused" parts. I really can't do anything about it at this moment :(((

Remember

Must remember the mission. Mustn't turn a blind eye, deaf ears, or brute force. It is a test of patience afterall.

saddam husseins dumpster website generator

Just reminded myself how awfully this website is being generated right now while updating the discography page. It's made fully dependent on regex, it's not a proper parser, which means that things do get completely out of hand due to bad logic. The entire system of parameters is a complete mess that has several workarounds already. Take a look at this wonderful link template.

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thing of beauty

I have no idea what's happening but whatever! It just works. If I touch it, it breaks. So don't touch it! Next time I should maybe not be so lazy and make it function properly. I just fear one day that I'll casually update something and go to sleep thinking everything is cool and wake up to undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined undefined

ps: the code you'll find on this site that is lootable is much better than this.

hol up

Maybe the answer is to speed it up a little. Might make a single afterall... I guess I just have to Fight It Out if i wanna make progress. Not album progress, but whatever!

Slightly burnt out

There's so much to do and not enough energy to do it. The album is on a stall right now, haven't progressed much in weeks. The initial magic wore off, but I still haven't forgotten about the whole theme of it, so it should be relatively easy to get back into. That is if I somehow find the right mindset to get back into it in the first place (I hope so, some of the songs are pretty well cooked, would be a shame to discard). Or I could just practice some alchemy and brew me some potions of infinite power and finish the album in a week. Never sleep and just make song. Monkey make song. Bang bong bang bong. uu u ha haa AAAAAAAAaaaaaaa ... It kinda feels that I'm getting out of shape, so I'll atleast try to touch it every once in a while. Even a little bit of progress, even 1 simple note adjustment will eventually finish the album. Or maybe try another genre? The album is quite serious, so that might be a problem. Maybe so many songs with the same genre make me go zzzzzzzz? idk, might make a stupid simple loud single to chill or something. Or not. Maybe I'm just trying to focus on a lot of things at once... jiagkdjfgljaiothjiarhpoathonatnoiobfdhustrh

Eh

It's not that spectacular. I expected a little more from a editor that was directly focused on pixel art, but there's not much more than GIMP or Krita has. The gradients are cool I guess. I feel it plays more on style than function, atleast the editor looks kinda nice and pixelated. It also has a weird focus on palettes that is getting subtly forced down your throat whether you like it or not. It's useful in some cases, but when I don't want that, I shouldn't have to use it. For example: shading is done using selected colors from the current palette, which gets annoying when I don't care about palette colors, I must make the shades myself first and put it in the palette. I want to use all 16 581 375 colors, not limit myself to some 30. I already set my world limit to 240x135 and don't want any color restrictions. If I wanted some restrictions, it can be easily done in post-processing by indexing colors.

Testing all 3 programs led me to some frustrations and disappointments from all of them, but there is atleast one positive. Since it's simple pixel art, I can use all 3 programs at the same time by simply copy-pasting the images between them. I can draw something in GIMP, make a fancy Bayer matrix gradient in Aseprite, and transform it (if it works) in Krita. It would be cool if they combined powers to one program but whatever.

I haven't progressed on the animation engine much, but I've got an idea. Is it possible to get an individual PCM frame from the current playing song and somehow get a value from 0 to 255 which indicates its "intensity" or "energy"? This way I could frame perfectly and automatically time beats in the engine and manipulate stuff with it. For example: switching scenes on beat drop (must implement scene switching first), lazer eyes color synchronized to beat (must implement color manipulation first AAAAA). I don't know how to do it though. What defines "intensity" or "energy" in an audio stream? How do I get it? I'll take a look in the miniaudio code and try to figure something out when on LSD and in deep depression.

Compiled

Managed to compile Aseprite after many cryptic errors. Somehow the 64-bit version didn't want to work, so I had to compile 32-bit. I'm sorry for all the kids who just wanted to draw some nice pixel art and had to deal with this MSVC CMake Git mess nobody cares about. Hopefully it was worth it...

oopsie

just rm -rfd my desktop

Krita issues, Aseprite time

So I open my cool test character guy that I saved yesterday and see absolutely nothing. A blank canvas presents itself, shattering my hopes and dreams and everything, sending me deep into a curled up state of desperation and longing for the pixels that I've lost. Well, not really. It was still there, but just invisible. The problem is that I don't know why it is invisible, and how to get it back. Something happened to the transform masks that made the entire thing break apart. I've had some issues with rendering it previously, but in the end it still presented itelf, it just lagged behind a little bit. I tried to hide and unhide the transform layers, but nothing happened. The only way to restore what I've saved was to remove all transform masks and redo the pose again. This is a major issue, since this means that I can't save properly. It's not a problem for static images, but for animation frames this is critical. If I had a large project that didn't save poses properly, it would be a massive waste of time to redo everything. I like the programs drawing abilities, but it's bugged for me, and I don't know why this happens. It keeps happening consistently, so I have to try and find something else. And I found a program called Aseprite. This one is directly meant for pixel art and animation, so I'll try this one out. There is one slight problem, which is actually getting it. The program claims to be open source, but it is kind of a mixed yes/no situation. For some reason, if you want to download it, you have to pay. If you don't want to download it, you have to compile it yourself. Why is this a thing? No idea. It's not that hard to find a tutorial on how to compile it, but the disk space it takes to do so is a little bit excessive. It feels like it's baiting non-technical users to pay. I'll try it out when I download all the 9749846 things required to compile it.

JavaScript

No brain needed to code JS. Just turn off brain. Not needed. Brain wants to think about variable type? Int, String, Booleans? No brain. Bad brain. Non-JS brain. It is simple var. Var var var. Var var var. Warum? Var ohmmmmmmmmmmm. cocaine not needed. have JS. errrrrreererererer. Want to start think brain? Stop. No think. Only code JS. Bad brain. Stop. JS simple as 1+1. Monkeyscript, very primitve. Too primitive for wellbeing. Too primitive for intelligence. But at the same time too powerful. What do? Must balance. No JS. Some JS. oeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Trying out Krita

Decided to try out Krita. Seems to be much better at drawing things than GIMP is. The addition of transform, color, filter and other masks make a huge difference in workflow. Instead of having to copy and paste all layers that I want to transform, I can now just create a transform mask and make a pose with it. All I need is to create a cool looking T posing character and then just make transforms for individual frames to make an animation. It's all very elastic. The biggest downside so far is that there aren't that many effects to play with. Maybe it's for good, atleast it won't crash as often. So far I've encountered 1 consistent crash with the cage transform tool, so I'll have to avoid that. I'm pretty impressed by this program, so I'll probably stop being a gimp and get to know it better.

GIMP

I really need to find another editor because this sucks. I only use it because I'm used to it. It does anything it wants and is hard to do normal basic stuff in. Even exporting a basic image is so annoying when it fails to produce the output I expect. Why does it sometimes export the same as I see it, and other times it just exports some gray garbage slop? I found a workaround for when this happens again: right-click on the layer panel and click "New from visible" option. Now it will export normally. WHY do I have to do it tho?? Why doesn't it just automatically do that when exporting?? Also when trying out filters it's like a russian roulette whether the program crashes or not. Remember to Ctrl+S every time you try out filters! I grew so tired of the crashing and instability that I only use a few selected filters that are known not to explode. Stupid. Oh and don't start me on the GIMP scripting system that is absolute fucking whatever I don't even know what it is. There's no good documentation anyway. I just wanted to use a function to put pixels in a pattern, why make it so hard :((( in the end, I gave up trying to figure it out. Just a few practical examples would make it much better, but I couldn't find any. It's all too confusing to put pixels in.

Vector VS Bitmap
Vector: Bitmap:
bEzIeR cUrVeS, lInEs, ShApEs P I X E L S R G B A
lOsSlEsS sCaLiNg P O I N T S A M P L I N G
nEeDs SpEcIaL sVg PrOgRaM M S P A I N T
nEeDs HaNd HoLdInG, sTiLl BrEaKs EaSiLy D I R E C T M E M O R Y M A N I P U L A T I O N N O E X C U S E S
lOw FiLeSiZe A C T U A L L Y C O M P L E X I M A G E S
hAs A rEaDaBlE sOuRcE cOdE I T S A F U C K I N G I M A G E Y O U N E E D E Y E S

And in the end, vector relies on BITMAP to render itself. How pathetic of vector.

Opening

The timing of opening this site has nothing to do with Valentines. It is a mere coincidence I swear.

You have reached the end, there is no more.

This page was last updated on: 01.04.2026